How to get back the Spark in your Relationship

Dear Bella,

My boyfriend and I decided to give it a last try on our relationship over 7 weeks ago. We have been dating for about 11 months now and it started off really great.  Along the way I picked fights on silly trivial issues mostly because of my insecurities with him due to bad past experiences. I didn't see how silly it was until a couple of weeks ago. The fights always ended up being very intense and pointing fingers both ways. I guess I was scared to commit 100% and was so sure that he was doing something wrong even though he really wasn't.

The  Continuous fighting killed quite a bit of our spark and feelings for each other and we backed off in terms of committing our feelings again. My boyfriend says that to fall in love again. He wants to go back to how we were before the fighting, the cloud 9 feeling. But I told him that it is not realistic enough. I asked him for some time to sort out my mind/thoughts so I could attack him less with fighting and we have been fighting-free for almost 7 weeks and it has made a difference as we are happy together. We had an in depth chat on Saturday where he did confirm that he is holding back. Which is what I had feared and anticipating but I guess it’s a natural reaction to from both sides. 

He said he is struggling to fall back into the wagon of falling in love with me, which really hurt to hear that from him, but i also feel the same. I do know we can go past this and that we can re-build what we had in the start or re-build to a new start and go from there. He says he wants me and wants to be with me and wants to settle in future with me. But I found it confusing as it contradicts him holding back, does it? He is very keen to try again and make it work-so am I. 

I am quite unsure how to handle this from now onward whilst we are giving it another try. I guess I have to give him and I more time to get back onto the wagon? And not force anything to happen? We are good together and we hope that it will work. 

I hope so too thanks for sharing with beyond-say-with-Bella.